Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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