i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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