i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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