i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize