His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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