singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
