ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
