Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
