This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
