I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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