so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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