chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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