Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
