I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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