Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have already put on my inside pants.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
