I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
