That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
