your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
