I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
