If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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