I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
