I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
