what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
