how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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