DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
