I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
