Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
