so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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