With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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