You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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