I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i would punch a child for taco bell
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
