I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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