Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
