I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
