Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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