I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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