don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
