He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
