i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
