I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize