KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
