I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize