Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
