I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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