its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
