Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize