Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
