Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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