Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
