Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
