STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
