Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
