Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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