I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
