yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
