Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
