absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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