mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
