she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
