new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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